Investments

Mary Winkler, the pastors wife from Tennessee, accused of shooting her husband, is a topic for discussion on every news station. I remember when it first happened, many news reporters talked with friends and neighbors about how difficult it is for a ministers wife to have close friends. One neighbor commented, "What would cause a godly woman to do such a thing?" From personal experience, I can tell you that anyone, even a Christian, can be deceived and pretend to be something they are not. I know how hard it is to be a ministers wife. There are expectations too high to reach, if not from others, in our own minds. You never quite feel like you can fully let down your guard and be REAL. The fear of what someone might think is too great. Then there are those times when someone befriends you and takes you in, and you begin to open up....and then something happens in the church they do not agree with, and you are suddenly the enemy. It is no wonder churches get such a bad rap today. We can't even love each other unconditionally, much less the people on the street. I believe Mary and her husband were trying so hard to be what others expected, that it caused built up frustrations in their home, and with no one else to confide in, the enemy came in, and like she said "I snapped". My heart feels deeply for her, and what roller coaster she must have been on to take her to such a dark place. But because of God's amazing grace, it is not too late for her.
Please, do not misunderstand me. I am not saying their church or all other churches have those kinds of problems. But, far too many do. This morning, we went back to Farmingdale Baptist Church. I am sure they are not a perfect church. I am sure they have had their issues in the past. All churches do at some point. But, I will say that I have never felt more welcome and more loved in a church before. It is very evident that they are truly a family of God. They love each other. They care about each other. And they remain strong together without a pastor, because of their great love for each other and God's kingdom. I long to be a part of a church, a people, that is authentic and truly devoted to each others lives and the lives of those who are still lost. I long to be a part of a people who are there for each other at every turn, every valley, every mountain top. A people that accept your every flaw and still love you and help you reach your full potential in Christ. I will never forget when I was running from the Lord, my dear friend Dale Ann managed to get me in her house and actually locked me inside with no way out, so that she could try and knock some sense in me. Her and Carl went through the valley with me because they truly loved me.....despite my sin. Hate the sin, love the sinner. I am forever grateful for their investment in my life and they could never know just how much they mean to me. I long for a group of people to invest in each others lives that way. I pray God will build such a people at Crossroads Church of Long Island. Reach out to your brothers and sisters in Christ. You never know what is truly going on in their hearts and what they need and long for, if you do not invest yourself in their lives. It will be worth it! It saved my life.

Jenna